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Home > Weblog w/e 28.7.2001

Saturday 28 July 2001, 23:55 BST
First of all, just a quick plug for Melissa, who is now a few hours into the Blogathon. She's given pie in the sky a new layout and a theme for the day: the music she loves, and the memories it prompts. She's got a long way yet, so why don't you pop along and give her some support?
A truly cringe-worthy joke. [Via grayblog]
Jon Carroll pauses to remember the rewind button.
Meg quotes a wonderful Bill Hicks rant about marketing, the final sentence of which seems particularly apposite in the light of reports that big business is "disappointed" in the internet:
"The Internet is an important cultural phenomenon, but that doesn't excuse its failure to comply with basic economic laws."
Dammit, fine the internet for daring to transgress basic economic law! Which it doesn't, of course: it merely reduces some barriers to entry while increasing others, and forces lazy businesses to revise their business models if they want to survive online. ["Basic economic laws" story via Plastic]
"Dear God..." by Kristin Thomas.
Dear God,
Would I go to hell for asking the neighbours to turn down their stereo if I did it in a very nice conversational tone of voice? What if I did it in a very nice conversational tone of voice but coincidentally happened to be dangling a fire ax in my left hand? What if I have already asked them 3 times? Would that make a difference?
Friday 27 July 2001, 23:40 BST
The internet is made up of databases and jokes. [Via Techdirt]
AOL, Microsoft Battle for Control of Mediocrity. Sadly, this bit isn't a joke at all:
"The secret of success is giving customers less than what they paid for, but not so much less that you piss them off."
Thursday 26 July 2001, 23:55 BST
Revealed at last: the links between Calvin & Hobbes and Fight Club. Who knew? [Via stickybuffalo]
Microsoft's Swiss office has pulled the sexy MS Office XP ad I linked to the other day. (NB/- I erroneously referred to it as an ad for Windows XP in my original entry. I've now corrected this to read "MS Office XP." I can only plead that it wasn't the product I was paying attention to when I saw the ad!)

Perhaps the guy finally cracked the password, and they're not allowed to show the results on TV. [Via lgf]
A spectacular satellite image showing the plume from Mount Etna's eruption. [Via Haddock.org]
Mothers Against Peeing Standing Up. [Via 3 Bruces]
Life imitates a bad sitcom. But in a cute, heart-warming way. [Via MetaFilter]
A quick note about Big Brother. First of all, I'm disgusted that The Goddess Elizabeth was evicted this evening. Don't you people recognise a class act when you see one? I thought she handled the whole exit business really well: I mean, she didn't even go over and bludgeon her partner Steve to a bloody pulp when Davina revealed that he'd sold Liz's nude pictures to a tabloid.

Secondly, can everyone please, please vote for Brian now. It's obvious that Dean isn't in the running to win the big prize - Davina couldn't even find one Dean supporter in the crowd tonight - so it's going to come down to Brian versus Helen. The thing is, the effects of Helen's actually winning tomorrow night could be catastrophic. Picture the devastation as her triumphal cry of "Oh ... My ... GOD!" is broadcast. Windows all over south-east England will be shattered. Television sets up and down the country will suddenly need a new pair of speakers. Accident and Emergency departments up and down the country will be swamped with patients with burst eardrums. Helen herself will probably explode, in glorious Technicolor, live on national television. (I know that Brian can sound like Graham Norton's stunt double at times, but he's not even on the same planet as Helen decibel-wise. Then again, as the Welsh One herself confessed early on in the series, none of us live on Planet Helen.)

Vote Brian: you know it makes sense.
Wednesday 25 July 2001, 23:55 BST
Just a quick link to the current John West ad, one of the two best ads on TV at the moment. (The other ad is the Heineken one featuring that delightful duet from Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee. Sheer class, but I haven't found it online yet.)
Take a look at Victoria Beckham's lovely new official web site. [Via Bifurcated Rivets]
When I linked to the Re-Versed Lyrics web site a few months ago I somehow overlooked this little gem, to the tune of Particle Man by They Might Be Giants.
Family Man, Family Man
All together, hand in hand
They've got infinity for a lifespan
Family Man, Trinity Man
Now they can mess with Nirvana if they like, but when they tamper with the work of the Two Johns then that crosses the line. It's, it's ... sacrilege! [Via Richard's Dish]
Tuesday 24 July 2001, 23:50 BST
I know I linked to yesterday's Astronomy Picture of the Day, but today's image of the Red Spider planetary nebula is so mind-boggling that I just had to do it again. Sue me!
Judge OKs Nuclear Strike on Napster.
Judge Patel said, "I see it as the final solution to this ongoing problem. There might be some lives lost but at least it will guarantee that no copyrighted songs escape their servers."
Nobody Here. Very cool. [Via a fire inside]
Welcome to the Carthedral. [Via Bifurcated Rivets]
The Life of Chris. One of a number of newspaper profiles of the great Chris Morris this week. Includes the immortal quote from radio DJ/TV presenter Dr Fox in the not-to-be-missed new episode of Brass Eye:
"Genetically, paedophiles have more genes in common with crabs than they do with you or me. Now that's scientific fact. There's no real evidence for it, but it is scientific fact."
David Coursey has a modest proposal: kill all virus writers. Fine, but make sure you also take out the Microsoft executives who repeatedly failed to build a proper system of file permissions into the consumer versions of Windows. (Thank goodness they've finally got that right in Windows XP, for all its other faults.) [Via Techdirt]
Monday 23 July 2001, 23:45 BST
Atlantis Rising. Another wallpaper-worthy Astronomy Picture of the Day.
I just have to pass on this wonderful comment on the new Star Trek series, Enterprise.
"But this series is set a century before the hammy exploits of James T. Kirk and company, in the days when a space captain's first thought upon encountering a new alien species was "Eww! Icky!" or "Run!" instead of "Hmm, pretty foxy -- I wonder where her genitals are."
[Via Three Way Action]
The Truth About Sesame Street.
To write this article, I watched several episodes of Sesame Street, (which, believe me, was almost more than I could stand ), and I would like to share with you the "highlights" of one show. I have never understood how any White parent with an OUNCE of dignity or pride could expose their children to the trash of Sesame Street, regardless of how "wonderful" everyone in the "mainstream" world says it is. It's bad enough that we, as adults, are continually subjected to the garbage pouring out of the jew toob - it's quite another to intentionally put helpless children in front of it, day in and day out. Nothing makes me angrier than seeing innocent, vulnerable WHITE children exposed to the scum of the earth by the master manipulators of our media. Hopefully, after you read this article, you will never feel the same about this supposedly "innocent" children's show , and will make sure that it is off-limits to your children from now on.
It's tempting to say that this is the sort of garbage that shouldn't be allowed on the internet. In fact that's exactly where it should be, out in the open where it can be seen for the paranoid crap it is. [Via SeeThru Weblog]
A seriously impassioned, deeply hilarious, rant about Helen and Paul from Big Brother:
It was an almost transcendental moment when the reigning idiot of the village that is Wales, after pretty much saying "I fancy you, Paul. I would like to rub your thingy until it gets hard, then sit on it", adds coyly "we've got very good at talking in code, haven't we"?
[Via Found]
MS Office XP and lingerie. No fun at all! Here's the proof. [Via MetaFilter]
Sunday 22 July 2001, 23:05 BST
Truth in search engine results? [Via NTK]
John Shirley was impressed by Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within.

Between this and Cats & Dogs and Planet of the Apes and AI: Artificial Intelligence and The Fellowship of the Ring it looks as if it might be a worthwhile year for fantasy/sf at the cinema after all.
A Swiss newspaper claims to have received a leaked copy of a memo from a US marketing firm offering the World Trade Organisation advice on how to sell itself and its policies to the 12-19 demographic in the face of strong brand recognition for the "Anti" brand (ie the anti-globalisation movement). I'm very dubious as to the authenticity of this memo. The whole thing reads like a parody. For one thing, if anyone had talked to Michael Moore about getting involved in an effort to promote the WTO brand I think we'd have heard about it by now. Furthermore, I can't imagine anyone with more than a couple of brain cells to rub together being able to type this sentence with a straight face:
Note: in focus groups, 59% of teens reported that they would consider purchasing WTO product if associated with friendly talking frog.
[Via the null device]
Chinh's Online Boyfriend Application For 2001-2002. Words fail me. [Via 3 Bruces]
Does the Prince Charles Cinema have the ugliest web site in the UK? [Via not.so.soft]
MSNBC's The Week In Pictures has a couple of classics this week: Blowin' In The Wind, and Real Leather Seats.
Never let it be said that judges have no sense of humour. This ruling is a hoot. (Be sure to read all the highlighted passages for the full effect.) [Via the null device]
Nice melons! Why do I doubt this guy was talking about his colleague's snack? [Via The Breast Chronicles]

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